Daybook

(This idea comes from Shelly. at www.thegratitudejournal.com)

Outside my window...
I see tiny signs of spring. I am hoping that it is just around the corner. Tiny shoots in the flowerbed, a faint haze of green in the yard, spring birds settling in again, buds on the trees, thank you God for seasons, but thank you especially for SPRING. It is such a hope-filled season.

I am looking forward....
to a 'hot' date with my wonderful husband tonight in honor of my birthday that is just around the corner. i had no idea that 12 years after I said "I Do" I'd still be so in love with this guy. Sure, I hoped I would, but really? I wouldn't trade our relationship now for back then, no way. he has blessed me a thousand times and then some by speaking life into me, loving me unconditionally, and just being Jesus to me.

I am thinking...
about forgiveness and how it's so much deeper than I once thought. It takes a daily commitment to forgive and love and bless those that hurt you. I wish I could say I have 'arrived' on the issue, but I'm still battling through it.

I am thankful...
that Leon didn't hurt his hand worse when he ran it through a pulley this morning. I am thankful for home remedies and ibuprofen.

I am listening...
to my new favorite song called "Need You Now" by Plumb. Oh, that song was written just for me, I think.

In the kitchen...
I just tried a great tomato soup recipe, but sadly, it's just for me. My family doesn't seem to appreciate it much.

One of my favorite things...
is a caramel frappe from McDonalds. Crazy, I know, but it is just.so.good.

A picture...
from 4 years ago. Sunday morning finery.

A Letter To My Firstborn Son

Dear Logan,
 It's been great being your Mom. I can't help but reflect a bit since you turned 11 a few days ago. You've come a long way in 11 years and hopefully I have to. I think back to when we found out about you....

We were so excited! We had been married for 9 months. We lived in a 1975 trailer that we were in the process of buying. Your Dad worked as a parts man at a Napa parts store. I had a cleaning job, and worked part-time as a manager/waitress at a sale barn lunch room. We didn't have much money but we were incredibly happy. We were saving our pennies to pay for your hospital bill.

I remember September 11 like it was yesterday. I was working on sewing some maternity clothes. I got a phone call from your daddy telling me about the attacks on the Twin Towers. I turned the radio on and was horrified at the news. I was trying to figure out why in the world we were bringing a baby into this messed up world.

Every time I would go to the doctor and hear your heartbeat, I was just awe-struck by the miracle of YOU! I prayed for you every day and often read the Bible to you.

When I was 7 months pregnant with you, I got  kidney stones and spent 3 days in the hospital. The pain was intense. The treatment was tricky because of you. The plans were to move me to a larger hospital and perform a minor surgery on me the next day to remove the stones. But God helped me pass the stones that night and I was able to go home instead. After that, I quit my jobs and stayed home until you were born. I was pretty wiped out from being in the hospital.

February 27 rolled around. It was a week after your due date. I thought I was going to be pregnant forever. I was at my mom's that day, then I came home and took a long walk. Soon I decided that you were going to be born sometime soon. It was midnight before your Daddy and I went to the hospital. It was almost noon  on the 28th before you were born. You got to share your birthday with your Uncle Kevin and your Aunt Mary.

You were all red-faced and squished when I saw you first, but I thought you were pretty amazing. You had the most perfect features. 6 pounds and 9 ounces of pure sweetness. The next morning the doctor told me that you had an infection and needed to be moved to a bigger hospital. Your Daddy had spent the night with us but he was at work already. So I called him and told him to come right away. He arrived just in time to kiss you good bye as they rushed you out the door into the waiting helicopter. It was a very difficult moment, watching you leave. We headed home and packed up some clothes and went to the big city.

When we got there, we were taken to you right away and you had tubes and wires and oxygen. It was hard not to think the worst. We prayed and prayed and cried some, too. The next 10 days are a blur. Daddy stayed with me for 3 nights then the hospital 'kicked' him out. Our/my room was 3 floors away and about a 10 minute walk from you. It was pretty crazy. I spent a lot of time with you but then I would go to my room and take a nap or eat some food that people so kindly shared with us. Every 3 hours day and night I would get called to you. You were doing great, they said, but your oxygen levels were too low to be released. Daddy spent every evening at the hospital and I think I always cried when he left. We just wanted to take you home and be a family.

Finally the day came! You were released and we could go home! We went to Applebee's for lunch and then headed home. It was so wonderful to be in our own house and stay there!

The following days and nights were tough. You were used to the nights in NICU where it was never quiet or dark. You had a hard time sleeping in our quiet house, especially at night.

I was a new mommy. There were a lot of things that were hard for me. You loved your pacifier but would wake up and cry every time you lost it. After 8 times in one night, we decided to take it away. I felt like a bad mom. Some people thought I was crazy for taking away your paci. Some people thought I should schedule more strictly. Some thought I should schedule less. You were always a little fussy away from home. I got all kinds of advice. The one that got me the most was that I was too uptight and you could tell. It was hard being a new mom. It was one of the first times in my life that I really lacked confidence.

You were quiet and shy as a toddler. Loud noises and chaos bothered you. Dirt really bothered you. You quit wearing a bib around your first birthday. You screamed and cried over haircuts. You loved your Grandpa and your uncles but not a lot of other people. You loved your Daddy and tried to imitate him in every way. You couldn't play alone. You followed me everywhere I went. Your toys were my toys, kitchen utensils, bowls, and containers.

You had to put up with our parenting blunders. Sometimes I feel like you have really been the guinea pig on the discipline. We try stuff out on you. You were the first to get an allowance, be home schooled and many other things.

You have taught me more about me than anyone else. You are a lot like me. Sometimes we butt heads. Sometimes we cry together. You challenge me in a lot of ways. I love having a front row seat on you growing up. I'm excited to see who you will become. I'm excited to see what God will do in your life. I pray that you will allow the Holy Spirit to do what He wants in your life. I pray you will some day grow up to be a real man and a faithful leader. Your Dad is a great example of that. I pray that life will be tough enough to make you see how much you need Jesus. And I pray that your life will be a living testimony of His faithfulness.

Love,
Mom


                                                        age 4

age 6

(w/ Brooklyn)

                                                           age 7

11th birthday!!!!! 

(birthday breakfast in bed)

                             

Finding Fun In The 'Fire'

This week has been hard. Very hard. A lot of junk went on in our house. I had a sick daughter day after day after day....a lot of sibling rivalry, some really hard moments in the school room....a lot of frustrations...it just felt like satan was very busy and I was under attack....in the 'fire' so to speak...

But in spite of all that, we did have some great moments, especially after about Thursday when I decided I have to look for JOY, because it most certainly isn't going to come looking for me.

I was looking through my camera and found some really fun pictures and I knew it was a very physical reminder of the good times we can have as a family. I am incredibly blessed to be a mom. Even when it's hard, even when I am completely out of creative ideas, even when the tears fall, even when I fail in my response to my children, even when I just want to get away from it all. God has given me strength this week in a very real way. One day I ended up in the bathroom for a crying session, (am I the only Mom that does that?) and I was praying, "God, I can't do this." In an almost audible voice I heard Him say, "My strength is perfect in your weakness." Wow! That's really all I need.

Now for some fun pictures from our house:

I have a thing for braids!

Our Valentines date with the children

                                                        Face Paint

SNOW!

Teaching My Children

One evening, not too long ago, I walked into the living room, and this is what I saw.

It was a rare, quiet moment in our house...because, everyone was reading! Well, the 4 year old was pretending, but she would be highly offended if she knew I let you in on her little secret. We have a whole family of readers. I guess they inherited that trait from their parents.

 I love to read aloud to my children and every morning in devotions, I read a chapter to them. Right now, we are going through the "Little House on the Prairie" series again. I think it's the 3rd time I read these books to my children. I'm also on book 10 of Uncle Arthur's Bible story books. The girls were just captivated by the story of Saul/Paul this morning.

There are few things as rewarding as teaching my children, whether it be teaching them Scripture, Bible stories, how to read, how to do laundry, make a bed, or clean the house. However, I can think of a few things that I'd rather not teach them.

• potty training
• riding a bike w/o training wheels
• tying shoes

Some of the most difficult things to teach them are the things I'm still wrestling with and learning about, like:

• how to forgive again and again and again
• how to say nice things when you feel ugly inside
• the Golden Rule
• how to forgive yourself
• how to extend grace to others
• how to be unselfish
• how to pursue Jesus w/ all your heart
• how to encourage and build up others
• how to be a servant

Someone said, "More is caught than taught," and I often think of that in regards to teaching my children. I can say whatever I want about loving others, but if they don't see it in my life daily, my words are empty. My heart's desire is that they would go beyond what we teach them and learn so much more about God and Who He is by their own personal experience. I want them to not just know God, but to experience God.

TEACHING MY CHILDREN-

The most challenging thing I've ever attempted,

The most rewarding experience I've ever had,

The most needy-for-God  position it put me in,

The most amazing thing to watch unfold right before my eyes.

How To Love A Husband

With Valentines Day just around the corner, thoughts of romantic dates and mushy smiles start fluttering around in my head. I'm not a huge fan of spending a lot of money on your special someone over Valentines Day, I mean, after all, roses are exorbitantly expensive just then. Leon and I have this understanding about roses and Valentines Day.

I think Valentines is a wonderful time to remember how to love....and why you fell in love in the first place....and how you can improve the good thing you already got going. So here's a refresher course for me, and if you want to join me in this, you're welcome.

I love lists so of course, I'll start by making a list. In no particular order after #1, but #1 is there for a reason.

1. Lower your expectations. Seriously, does it get any simpler than that? Women are famous for expecting perfection from the men in their lives. I mean, really, how many books have you read where the Man always gave a hug at the right moment, or removed the kids from the scene at just the moment the Woman was about to lose it as a mom, or said nothing when all she needed was a listening ear? Really? Men aren't like that, and it's wrong for me to think my husband will do everything just right at the right moment. He's human, he gets tired and grouchy just like me, and he needs his space sometimes too.

2. Let him know you love him. It can be as easy as those 3 little words, or a hug when he gets home from work, or getting him a glass of water when he comes in from working. Pay attention to his needs. When the children were smaller, and Leon worked away, I would watch for his truck in the evenings and see if I could sneak to the door and welcome him home before the kid's discovered it. It became a game for awhile and made me more aware of his homecoming that it would have otherwise.

3.Don't bring up contoversial issues/constructive criticism when he is tired or stressed.  We don't respond well in those circumstances, so why should they?

4. Spoil him rotten. Alright, you know what his favorite foods are, how he likes his shirts ironed before Sunday morning, and that he likes Mountain Dew. How hard is it to make his favorite foods frequently, get the ironing done instead of sitting on the computer blogging, ;) and put Mtn. Dew in your grocery budget. Make him feel like the King of his palace, afterall he is!

5. Brag about him to your friends. Oh, that one is fun. I suppose if you go on and on, it could get annoying to your friends...:)

6. Don't criticize his discipline methods in front of the kids. Even if you didn't like it, or thought he was being insensitive, save it for later when you're alone.

7. Tell him you appreciate him often. Really, who works harder around here than him? Who makes so you have money to buy that sweater you've been eyeing? Who puts the food on the table? Who gives and gives and gives some more to meet the needs of the family he is committed to caring for?

8. Give him alone time. Away from the kids, deer hunting, reading a good book, whatever it may be...let him clock out for awhile, so to speak.

9. Don't judge his relationship w/ God. So maybe he didn't spend as much time w/ God this morning as you did. Maybe he prays the same mealtime prayer every day. Instead of being critical, take your concerns to God and  pray, really pray for your man often.

10. Keep the passion (or get it back) in your marriage. Think of him often during the day, send him a steamy text, remember how you felt in the early days....(remember how he would turn your heart to mush just by looking at you?!)


The best gift you can give your children is to love their dad!

Now I need to go prepare that special meal, and iron those shirts, and say those three little words...:)

This is us:

But sometimes we look like this:

What would you add to my list?

School Daze

Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln was a President. He was good whith God. He got shot and died the nest day. He was born in a log cabin and grew up in Kentucky.
                                                                                       -Annika gr. 1

If I were a famous person, I would like to start a moon colony. There would be house's, shed's, and moon car's. There would be a police station, a fire station, and a hosbitla. (hospital) There would be a bank and a store. There would even be moon money.
                                                                                      -Jamison gr.4

If I were a famous person, I would like to discover the ark. If I would find it I would make a museum and put it in there. And then I would fill it with animals. And have people walk through it.
                                                                                    -Logan gr.5

Here's the preschooler, peeking in. You never know what she'll do. She has a vivid imagination and loves sitting in the closet on the sleeping bags. (see above picture) She also loves to do puzzles, work in her workbooks, play with Lite Brites, color and look at books. She told someone recently that she's in preschool, "and mostly I just play."

Have I mentioned that I love, love my 'new' school room with the many book shelves and lights and desks for each student? And the peaceful aqua color it's painted? This is one of my favorite rooms in the house and we spend every forenoon in here. We have a heater when it's cold, a fan when it's hot, and sometimes we have tears, lots of laughter, snacks, and a lot of learning going on. I am so very grateful for the privilege to teach my own children, at home. 

Revival

Ahh, 2013. A new year, stretched out before us. We can choose how we will use this opportunity. We can live this new year just like the one before that and the one before that. We can keep busy, look out for ME, and do just enough good to keep feeling okay with ourselves, and keep filling ourselves with stuff that doesn't last but gives us momentary satisfaction.

OR


Do you feel a stirring in your soul? Do you feel the stagnancy in your life? Do you feel the longing in your heart for more? More fulfillment? Genuine love? Spirit filled worship? Passionate prayer times? A new zeal for serving God? A burden for the lost? A hunger to know God more? Hatred for sin and the way it wrecks lives? Boldness for the truth? Determination to fight the spiritual warfare that surrounds us each and every day?

I can't keep living my life like I did last year, or the year before that. God continues to work in my heart and continues to show me areas I need to grow in, to change, to stretch. If I ignore the Holy Spirit in my life, He will get quieter, and quieter until I can't recognize His voice at all.

It would be nice sometimes to stick my head in the sand and ignore the world around me. The state of our nation is not a joke. It is headed in a fast, downward spiral. We as Christians are called to live genuine, Spirit filled lives. We have NOTHING to offer the world around us if we are so caught up in trivial issues of disagreements and differences between God's people. We go to conferences, counseling, and other life-changing events and come home, changed temporarily.

My heart's cry is to allow God to do the work He wants to do in my life. To stop getting in the way. To be all in. To pursue Him like someone who's dying of thirst pursues water. To encourage others, to love unconditionally. I believe God longs to see revival in our land, in this time in history. Oh, that God's people would band together and join in the battle. Could it start with one person, with me, with you? Could we just be obedient to Him?