Thursday, February 7, 2013

How To Love A Husband

With Valentines Day just around the corner, thoughts of romantic dates and mushy smiles start fluttering around in my head. I'm not a huge fan of spending a lot of money on your special someone over Valentines Day, I mean, after all, roses are exorbitantly expensive just then. Leon and I have this understanding about roses and Valentines Day.

I think Valentines is a wonderful time to remember how to love....and why you fell in love in the first place....and how you can improve the good thing you already got going. So here's a refresher course for me, and if you want to join me in this, you're welcome.

I love lists so of course, I'll start by making a list. In no particular order after #1, but #1 is there for a reason.

1. Lower your expectations. Seriously, does it get any simpler than that? Women are famous for expecting perfection from the men in their lives. I mean, really, how many books have you read where the Man always gave a hug at the right moment, or removed the kids from the scene at just the moment the Woman was about to lose it as a mom, or said nothing when all she needed was a listening ear? Really? Men aren't like that, and it's wrong for me to think my husband will do everything just right at the right moment. He's human, he gets tired and grouchy just like me, and he needs his space sometimes too.

2. Let him know you love him. It can be as easy as those 3 little words, or a hug when he gets home from work, or getting him a glass of water when he comes in from working. Pay attention to his needs. When the children were smaller, and Leon worked away, I would watch for his truck in the evenings and see if I could sneak to the door and welcome him home before the kid's discovered it. It became a game for awhile and made me more aware of his homecoming that it would have otherwise.

3.Don't bring up contoversial issues/constructive criticism when he is tired or stressed.  We don't respond well in those circumstances, so why should they?

4. Spoil him rotten. Alright, you know what his favorite foods are, how he likes his shirts ironed before Sunday morning, and that he likes Mountain Dew. How hard is it to make his favorite foods frequently, get the ironing done instead of sitting on the computer blogging, ;) and put Mtn. Dew in your grocery budget. Make him feel like the King of his palace, afterall he is!

5. Brag about him to your friends. Oh, that one is fun. I suppose if you go on and on, it could get annoying to your friends...:)

6. Don't criticize his discipline methods in front of the kids. Even if you didn't like it, or thought he was being insensitive, save it for later when you're alone.

7. Tell him you appreciate him often. Really, who works harder around here than him? Who makes so you have money to buy that sweater you've been eyeing? Who puts the food on the table? Who gives and gives and gives some more to meet the needs of the family he is committed to caring for?

8. Give him alone time. Away from the kids, deer hunting, reading a good book, whatever it may be...let him clock out for awhile, so to speak.

9. Don't judge his relationship w/ God. So maybe he didn't spend as much time w/ God this morning as you did. Maybe he prays the same mealtime prayer every day. Instead of being critical, take your concerns to God and  pray, really pray for your man often.

10. Keep the passion (or get it back) in your marriage. Think of him often during the day, send him a steamy text, remember how you felt in the early days....(remember how he would turn your heart to mush just by looking at you?!)

The best gift you can give your children is to love their dad!

Now I need to go prepare that special meal, and iron those shirts, and say those three little words...:)

This is us:

But sometimes we look like this:

What would you add to my list?


  1. i like the part about the steamy text. hahha :)

  2. I love it! You are such an amazing example!! #1... yes, yes, yes! Thanks!! :) Happy Valentines to you! :)

    1. Thank you for your kind words. Hugs to you over the miles...

  3. Good words, Wanda! It is so easy to fall into habits that do nothing for romance. Thank you for this post. I totally agree that #1 is a great starter. When I think it's hard I remember how much Dan has done that for me. :) -Luci-

  4. someday, when I get big, I want to be like you. :) And someday, if I should get married, I want a marriage like yours. :) You inspire me!

  5. oh, funny girl. i'm glad if we inspire you. our marriage isn't perfect, but we are very blessed!

  6. This is really, really, good. Just normal things, nothing that grand or hard, yet we have to constantly be reminded to JUST DO IT! Thanks for taking the time to make this list, I am printing it off to look at often for reminders. =)

  7. great list! #10 is what i'm working on right now... just seems that area is in a rut! a funny thing about steamy texts though - i did that a few years ago and at the time my brothers worked w/ shayne. he was with a client and when they heard his phone go off they picked it up to see if it was something important. of course, having one of my brothers read what was intended for my husband embarrassed me to death!! oh my word!!! :/ so. now.. i'll text him first and say, "are you by yourself..." ;))

    hope you had a great valentines day!

  8. Great list! I love hearing from people who are powering through marriage and making it better all the time instead of letting marriage overpower them. :)

  9. And I add to Naomi's comment, ME TOO!!!!! I say, that someday when there is a man in my life and I am contemplating doing this marriage thing, I shall come to you for "pre-marriage counseling".:) You are a fabulous example to your nieces and many others.
    Much love,