( Summer is winding down, and although I've been digging in my heels and kicking and screaming about it, I have to face reality. School is just around the corner for us. We are squeezing every last drop out of summer. The vacations are over, the garden is pouring forth goodness, and the locusts starting their singing. The school room is starting to look like a school room again, instead of a craft area/dumping station. And yes, this begins my 9th year of home schooling my kids!!! And I can't help but reflect...)
Nine years ago we started the adventure of teaching our children at home. I was due with Baby #4, we felt like this was probably our least stressful option, and we were planning to try it for a year.
This began a season of our lives that would turn our world upside down. And I am forever grateful.
It was hard. Man, it was really hard! It felt like I willingly embraced loneliness, hard, and crazy, all in that one decision.
But looking back, there are a lot of things I wish I had known then. And so this is for you, new home schooling mom, who is terrified of what lies before you.
Obviously, home school is not the only education option out there. Assuming you already feel pretty certain that God has called you to this, I am here to encourage you. You'll want to remember that calling frequently, when you are in the trenches, so to speak.
You don't have to be super-mom.
Yes, you are the housekeeper, boo-boo kisser, laundry lady, cook, and now the teacher too. You don't have to get it all right every time. Give yourself grace, lots of grace. This is a season of your life, one of the toughest, so cut yourself lots of slack.
You will be very lonely at times.
This one really stinks, because why in the world would I willingly embrace loneliness? It's okay to feel lonely. Sometimes you will feel lonely because you simply cannot add one more thing to your life. Other times you will feel lonely because your friends get together for play dates and coffee, in the morning, and you are at home, doing school. So you're going to feel out of the loop at times. I hope you find at least one friend who gets you, who you can connect with occasionally and be encouraged. But remember, you are making sacrifices now to build and maintain relationships with your children. Someday these sacrifices will feel small. I promise.
What if I'm not capable of teaching my child?
I have to smile over this question now, but it was reality at one time in my life. It's not as hard as you might think to teach your child. Make a plan, and stick to it, but be flexible. Does that make sense? Our plan is school every morning, 5 days a week, from the middle of August to the end of April. Have we ever strayed from the schedule? Yes, of course. We take 2 weeks off every Christmas. We take off if something comes up....but it has to be pretty important.
Your children will all learn differently. Your main job is to teach them to love learning and show them how to pursue it.
What if my kids aren't as smart as other kids their age?
Again, the beautiful thing about home school is that your child can learn at their pace and their level. They don't have to be compared to 15 other first graders and be given a label. We make a big deal here at our house about having different gifts and abilities. We have all kinds here in our family of 4. I think God had a real sense of humor when he was handing out personalities to my kids. I remember on the very same day, one of my children weeping and wailing because they got a 98 on a test, while that child's sibling was so happy that they received an 80 and wouldn't have to do it over.
How will I ever get my housework done?
First, you will lower your standards.
Second, the phrase 'spring and fall cleaning' shall be removed from your vocabulary and even your mind.
Third, you will teach your children to help you.
I read somewhere years ago, that if you are feeling overwhelmed with your housework, you need to teach your children to do more to help out. I remember feeling so completely overwhelmed with my dirty house, looking around and saying, "What could my children be doing to help?"
My boys at ages 6 and 7, would clean the bathroom every Wednesday. It wasn't perfect, but cut some of the dirt until I could do it "right" on Saturday. We would all help each other clean upstairs on Thursday afternoons after the little ones napped. The main floor got cleaned Friday or Saturday. My children gathered and sorted laundry, dusted and swept their rooms, made their beds, and hung up their pj's.
How can I make our home an atmosphere conducive for learning?
Books, books, books. We invested in Uncle Arthur's Bible story books and a set of the World Book Encyclopedias. I have a secret addiction to buying books off of Amazon or at garage sales or thrift stores. We have books bursting out the seams of our house. My husband has moved more bookshelves in this house than any other piece of furniture. (Bless his heart!) Sometimes Leon gets the atlas out, and shows the children where he dreams of taking us on our next family vacation. Put up maps and talk about foreign lands. Read, read, read to your children, even after they can read themselves.
And here I am, nine years later, and I am so very grateful to God for leading us to home school our kids. Every sacrifice was so worth it. We have pursued relationships with our children and watched it pay off. There were times of intense struggle that I won't go into, times of wanting to quit and send them to the very closest school that would take them, times of being misunderstood by family or friends.
Remember, God gives strength for each day. He's got your back. And He loves your children even more than you do. You got this, girl. Put your chin up and carry on.
I'm here, cheering you on.
Showing posts with label for moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label for moms. Show all posts
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Down A Country Road...
I love to go on walks. My favorite time to walk is either before breakfast or after supper. If I go after supper, well, there are 2 young ladies that beg to go along. And what kind of heart-less mother would say no to that?
But you see, I love to walk ALONE. Just me and God. I can think in silence, pray without interruptions, and hear from God.
Since we home school, I rarely get a moment alone. So I like to think that I NEED these walks, maybe even deserve them.
I must admit, I seldom actually say NO to my walking buddies. I try to remind myself that some day I will wish for my chatty little walking buddies. I remind myself that walking buddies now=walking buddies later. Taking time to build our friendship now will hopefully pay off later.
Tonight after supper I said, "Who wants to go on a walk with me?" The girls both yelled, "I do!" We headed down the road. I heard them talk about many things. We said "Hi" to the neighbor's horses and talked about what kind of horse they are. We talked about our dog and how he loves to run with us when we go walking. We talked about many other things. Nothing heavy, nothing spiritual. Just us 3, spending time together.
As we were walking in the lane, I thought, you know, maybe I did hear from God tonight on my walk after all.
I heard Him in my daughter's giggle, I saw Him in the beauty of nature, in my daughter's smile, I felt Him remind me to slow down and enjoy TODAY.
It was a good walk. I even felt refreshed in my spirit.
But you see, I love to walk ALONE. Just me and God. I can think in silence, pray without interruptions, and hear from God.
Since we home school, I rarely get a moment alone. So I like to think that I NEED these walks, maybe even deserve them.
I must admit, I seldom actually say NO to my walking buddies. I try to remind myself that some day I will wish for my chatty little walking buddies. I remind myself that walking buddies now=walking buddies later. Taking time to build our friendship now will hopefully pay off later.
Tonight after supper I said, "Who wants to go on a walk with me?" The girls both yelled, "I do!" We headed down the road. I heard them talk about many things. We said "Hi" to the neighbor's horses and talked about what kind of horse they are. We talked about our dog and how he loves to run with us when we go walking. We talked about many other things. Nothing heavy, nothing spiritual. Just us 3, spending time together.
As we were walking in the lane, I thought, you know, maybe I did hear from God tonight on my walk after all.
I heard Him in my daughter's giggle, I saw Him in the beauty of nature, in my daughter's smile, I felt Him remind me to slow down and enjoy TODAY.
It was a good walk. I even felt refreshed in my spirit.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Just Me and My Thoughts
I feel dangerous tonight...like maybe I shouldn't be left alone.
Don't call 911 just yet. Let me explain.
Several days ago I blogged. Before I hit publish, I had my husband proof read it. He said it was too, umm, what was the word, raw? I am grateful for his wisdom. It now sits neatly in my Drafts. Maybe you'll see it someday, maybe you won't.
My mind has truly been a whirlwind lately. Sometimes the best way for me to clear my mind is to write.
Recently I explained to my teenage son the way a woman's brain functions versus a man's brain. He thought it was funny. Sometimes my husband finds it funny too; other times it can just be really frustrating.
So let's see, just this week alone, I contemplated the exciting and scary adventure called high school that awaits us just around the corner, I counseled my daughter on the importance of taking your anger to Jesus instead of taking it out on others, I advised my son that if he teased his sisters one more time, well, he didn't even want to imagine what the consequence would be, I explained to a struggling child how I understand the stage of these tough growing up years and how the most important thing to remember is that God loves you and Mom and Dad love you, I banned the use of electronics for an entire 3 hour block, I sent the second grader to the principal's office, (only to hear her sister say, "I would do ANYTHING to get sent to the principal!) and I taught my son, who's as big as me, how to fold a blanket.
I reminded my children to empty the dishwasher, burn the trash, MAKE THE BED, put away their shoes, stop teasing each other, stop laughing at her, and just STOP looking at her altogether!
I messed up more times than I can count, felt like I deserved the Bad Parent Award and have perhaps messed up my children enough to make a counselor cry.
But my mind is still a whirlwind and sometimes I just want to.stop.thinking.
If I had a "man-brain", could I just shut all the boxes and think "nothing"?! I know someone like that. :) I envy him.
I want to be a prayer warrior, an encouraging friend, and able to speak truth in love to those around me. I want to be sensitive to other's needs, and sensitive to the Holy Spirit's nudge to be obedient to whatever He asks me to do.
I want to love people like Jesus loves people. I want to be that listening ear, trusted friend, that many long to have.
But this week, I've struggled to just be.
And once again, God has gently reminded me that it's okay to 'take a break' because of our own pain. It's okay to sit back and let someone else do the loving, the encouraging, even the praying, for a time.
I want to just lean in hard on Jesus, and He will gently heal the hurt. I know He will. And someday I'll look back on this season of my life, and I'll remember the pain. I'll also remember the promise, and the Hands that never let go.
I read something this week in Jesus Calling that I just had to highlight:
"I did not design the human mind to try to figure out the future. That is beyond your capability. I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me. Bring Me all your needs, your hopes, and fears. Commit everything into My care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of Peace."
And so tonight, I will sleep peacefully in the arms of My Abba Father.
Don't call 911 just yet. Let me explain.
Several days ago I blogged. Before I hit publish, I had my husband proof read it. He said it was too, umm, what was the word, raw? I am grateful for his wisdom. It now sits neatly in my Drafts. Maybe you'll see it someday, maybe you won't.
My mind has truly been a whirlwind lately. Sometimes the best way for me to clear my mind is to write.
Recently I explained to my teenage son the way a woman's brain functions versus a man's brain. He thought it was funny. Sometimes my husband finds it funny too; other times it can just be really frustrating.
So let's see, just this week alone, I contemplated the exciting and scary adventure called high school that awaits us just around the corner, I counseled my daughter on the importance of taking your anger to Jesus instead of taking it out on others, I advised my son that if he teased his sisters one more time, well, he didn't even want to imagine what the consequence would be, I explained to a struggling child how I understand the stage of these tough growing up years and how the most important thing to remember is that God loves you and Mom and Dad love you, I banned the use of electronics for an entire 3 hour block, I sent the second grader to the principal's office, (only to hear her sister say, "I would do ANYTHING to get sent to the principal!) and I taught my son, who's as big as me, how to fold a blanket.
I reminded my children to empty the dishwasher, burn the trash, MAKE THE BED, put away their shoes, stop teasing each other, stop laughing at her, and just STOP looking at her altogether!
I messed up more times than I can count, felt like I deserved the Bad Parent Award and have perhaps messed up my children enough to make a counselor cry.
But my mind is still a whirlwind and sometimes I just want to.stop.thinking.
If I had a "man-brain", could I just shut all the boxes and think "nothing"?! I know someone like that. :) I envy him.
I want to be a prayer warrior, an encouraging friend, and able to speak truth in love to those around me. I want to be sensitive to other's needs, and sensitive to the Holy Spirit's nudge to be obedient to whatever He asks me to do.
I want to love people like Jesus loves people. I want to be that listening ear, trusted friend, that many long to have.
But this week, I've struggled to just be.
And once again, God has gently reminded me that it's okay to 'take a break' because of our own pain. It's okay to sit back and let someone else do the loving, the encouraging, even the praying, for a time.
I want to just lean in hard on Jesus, and He will gently heal the hurt. I know He will. And someday I'll look back on this season of my life, and I'll remember the pain. I'll also remember the promise, and the Hands that never let go.
I read something this week in Jesus Calling that I just had to highlight:
"I did not design the human mind to try to figure out the future. That is beyond your capability. I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me. Bring Me all your needs, your hopes, and fears. Commit everything into My care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of Peace."
And so tonight, I will sleep peacefully in the arms of My Abba Father.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Building Faith In Our Children
{Last February I was asked to share at our local MOPS on this subject. Today I'm blogging some of those thoughts.This is geared towards moms of young children}
Some years ago, my husband and I made some decisions for our family that were met with a lot of resistance from some people. I heard over and over again about the dangerous path we were on and what it would do to our family. Doubt and fear crept in and I cried out to God repeatedly to show us if we were making a mistake. You know you hear from God on a matter, but sometimes you start to question, especially if it calls you out from the comfortable, and soon, you are starting to wonder if you heard right. This was the case.
We were in the middle of harvest, and I have such a love/hate relationship with that season already. I was coming through the harvest widow experience and putting the kid's to bed alone AGAIN. They are all settled. Deep sigh. Then I heard my son come down the stairs, and he was crying. I was privileged to lead him to Jesus that night.
That experience came on the heels of my crying out to God and it was such a huge confirmation that we were following God and that He would lead and direct our children.
I do not have a formula for building faith in our children. In fact, I would throw away the formulas if I had them. There is not a list of 'Do's' and 'Don'ts' out there that guarantees Godly children. There are basic principles of course, but unless the Holy Spirit does an on-going work in my life and the lives of my children, there is no hope for any of us.
We can't build something in our children that we don't possess ourselves.
We start with the basics:
-get time alone with God
This is very difficult if you have young children, I know. Sometimes it means taking a long hot shower while your husband is with the children. Or maybe a walk without any kids to clear your head and talk to Jesus. I love to grocery shop alone, (now that my children are older, and they prefer to stay at home) and I have had many a mighty 'church' service on my way to Aldi.
-read good books
I know, even reading a book other than Clifford, the Big Red Dog or Are You My Mother sounds completely foreign to you. but if you are a reader, and if you're not, :) I encourage you to read good books. I love books that make me think, books that I can take a bite at a time and then not pick it up again for several days or weeks.
-find mentors or people who will encourage you
This is one that I wish with all my heart I would have done when I had 4 kids ages 6 and under. Don't try to swim alone. There are sharks out there and they are out to get you. After my youngest was born, I suffered with a mild case of depression. I was extremely overwhelmed with 4 young children, we had just started home schooling and were misunderstood by many people, and we were struggling with some personal issues. Someone to text for prayer or to pour my heart out to would have been so valuable.
We build faith in our children by growing our own faith.
You can:
-read Scripture to your baby
-require your 4 year old to memorize Ps.23
-pay your 8 year old to read through the Bible
-push your 12 year old to witness to his friends at school like your friend's 12 year old does
But you can't make them desire a relationship with Jesus.
Recently I read the story of Hannah and Samuel. Samuel was 3-4 years old when he moved in with Eli. Hannah only saw him once a year after that. Hannah had to be disciplined and intentional with her time with Samuel. She had other responsibilities too. He wasn't her only child.
So when do we teach our children about Jesus?
Duet. 6:4-9 says "Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
When we go throughout our day, we talk about God. We ask questions to make them think. "Who painted the sunset? Who made the baby kittens?" We tell them about God, His unconditional love for us, our unique fingerprints, and the way He desires to have a relationship with us. We tell our children why God created us.
Our children' desire for a relationship with God comes from a heart willing to answer the call and work of the Holy Spirit in their lives.
Make your home an environment that feels safe and normal to talk about God.
When God answers a prayer for you, tell your children. Our children's faith grows when they see ours growing.
Some of our favorite tools for acquainting our children with Jesus were:
-Steve Green's "Hide 'em in your Heart" DVD's or CD's
-Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Bible Storybooks
-Our Story Hour Bible story CD's
Some other things we've done around here were to write Scripture on the bathroom mirror, record Scripture on cassette, (this is excellent for the child who struggles with memorization!) and have a family time to memorize together.
Finally, to build faith in our children, we must surrender the outcome to God.
Dannah Gresh says, "If you do not have an on-going conversation with the Holy Spirit about raising your children to be set apart in this corrupt culture, you will become a paranoid parent whose legalism does not allow her children to slay the 'Goliath's' God means for them to face."
Some years ago, my husband and I made some decisions for our family that were met with a lot of resistance from some people. I heard over and over again about the dangerous path we were on and what it would do to our family. Doubt and fear crept in and I cried out to God repeatedly to show us if we were making a mistake. You know you hear from God on a matter, but sometimes you start to question, especially if it calls you out from the comfortable, and soon, you are starting to wonder if you heard right. This was the case.
We were in the middle of harvest, and I have such a love/hate relationship with that season already. I was coming through the harvest widow experience and putting the kid's to bed alone AGAIN. They are all settled. Deep sigh. Then I heard my son come down the stairs, and he was crying. I was privileged to lead him to Jesus that night.
That experience came on the heels of my crying out to God and it was such a huge confirmation that we were following God and that He would lead and direct our children.
I do not have a formula for building faith in our children. In fact, I would throw away the formulas if I had them. There is not a list of 'Do's' and 'Don'ts' out there that guarantees Godly children. There are basic principles of course, but unless the Holy Spirit does an on-going work in my life and the lives of my children, there is no hope for any of us.
We can't build something in our children that we don't possess ourselves.
We start with the basics:
-get time alone with God
This is very difficult if you have young children, I know. Sometimes it means taking a long hot shower while your husband is with the children. Or maybe a walk without any kids to clear your head and talk to Jesus. I love to grocery shop alone, (now that my children are older, and they prefer to stay at home) and I have had many a mighty 'church' service on my way to Aldi.
-read good books
I know, even reading a book other than Clifford, the Big Red Dog or Are You My Mother sounds completely foreign to you. but if you are a reader, and if you're not, :) I encourage you to read good books. I love books that make me think, books that I can take a bite at a time and then not pick it up again for several days or weeks.
-find mentors or people who will encourage you
This is one that I wish with all my heart I would have done when I had 4 kids ages 6 and under. Don't try to swim alone. There are sharks out there and they are out to get you. After my youngest was born, I suffered with a mild case of depression. I was extremely overwhelmed with 4 young children, we had just started home schooling and were misunderstood by many people, and we were struggling with some personal issues. Someone to text for prayer or to pour my heart out to would have been so valuable.
We build faith in our children by growing our own faith.
You can:
-read Scripture to your baby
-require your 4 year old to memorize Ps.23
-pay your 8 year old to read through the Bible
-push your 12 year old to witness to his friends at school like your friend's 12 year old does
But you can't make them desire a relationship with Jesus.
Recently I read the story of Hannah and Samuel. Samuel was 3-4 years old when he moved in with Eli. Hannah only saw him once a year after that. Hannah had to be disciplined and intentional with her time with Samuel. She had other responsibilities too. He wasn't her only child.
So when do we teach our children about Jesus?
Duet. 6:4-9 says "Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
When we go throughout our day, we talk about God. We ask questions to make them think. "Who painted the sunset? Who made the baby kittens?" We tell them about God, His unconditional love for us, our unique fingerprints, and the way He desires to have a relationship with us. We tell our children why God created us.
Our children' desire for a relationship with God comes from a heart willing to answer the call and work of the Holy Spirit in their lives.
Make your home an environment that feels safe and normal to talk about God.
When God answers a prayer for you, tell your children. Our children's faith grows when they see ours growing.
Some of our favorite tools for acquainting our children with Jesus were:
-Steve Green's "Hide 'em in your Heart" DVD's or CD's
-Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Bible Storybooks
-Our Story Hour Bible story CD's
Some other things we've done around here were to write Scripture on the bathroom mirror, record Scripture on cassette, (this is excellent for the child who struggles with memorization!) and have a family time to memorize together.
Finally, to build faith in our children, we must surrender the outcome to God.
Dannah Gresh says, "If you do not have an on-going conversation with the Holy Spirit about raising your children to be set apart in this corrupt culture, you will become a paranoid parent whose legalism does not allow her children to slay the 'Goliath's' God means for them to face."
Monday, August 25, 2014
Dear Mommy of Little Ones
I watch you as you rejoice over another new baby joining your family. And I remember.....
Motherhood is by far the most difficult task you will ever attempt. It will stretch you, exhaust you, and hopefully bring you more joy than you ever thought possible.
Your days are full, your nights are short, your house is never in the condition you'd like, and for pity sake, could you please just be allowed to go to the bathroom by yourself?! You are so tired of reading that certain Thomas the Tank Engine book, and completely exhausted with that child who wakes up grouchy every single day, and feel all kinds of 'mommy guilt' for not wanting to spend another day in the house with all these sweet but needy children.
People tell you your child acts up because she needs more individual attention, and your husband and you haven't been on a date in months, (come to think of it, you haven't even finished your sentences to each other in that long, either!) and the baby just takes 20 minute cat naps during the day.
Can I ask you to just stop and find a minute or 2 or 20, maybe while your husband is watching your babies, and cry out to Jesus? He loves mommy's so much and cares deeply for them. Think about all those big things you wanted to do with your life. You are doing that and more as you get to spend every day influencing, teaching and training these precious little people. Determine to stop doing this on your own. Train yourself to cry out to Him for help. My sister used to holler out, "Help us, Jesus" when she was in the thick of it with her little people. (She had 3 in about 3 and a half years.) I thought it was cute until I became a mom, then I realized that she had something I wanted.
I don't want you just to survive, I want you to thrive. I want you to love being a Mommy. I want your children to grow up and remember that mom played games with them, colored with them, taught them how to wash dishes, (or just make a mess in the kitchen) and ran races with them. I want you to experience the fun and joy of motherhood.
Maybe the housework has you completely exhausted. Have a cleaning plan. It can be as simple as clean toilets on Monday, sweep floors on Tuesday, dust on Wednesday, etc. Put it into do-able portions. and teach your children to help. A 3 year old can fling a dust rag. (I know, I know, it's not going to be done right. but you will reap the benefits someday soon if you teach your children to work at an early age, before they are truly help.)
Make a simple plan for meals. You don't have to cook a 3 course meal like your Mom did. Jelly bread makes a fantastic dessert. Make double portions and freeze the extra. And don't go grocery shopping all the time. It's exhausting and un-necessary if you plan ahead.
Stop comparing yourself to the lady down the road who has 4 littles like you and sews all their own clothes and cans oodles of stuff from her garden every spring. That's not you and it's okay.
Find a mentor, someone who can pray for you at a moment's notice, someone you can pour out your heart to, and not feel judgement, someone who cares enough to gently tell you if you're getting something wrong.
And please, please don't go to bed every night with that monster of guilt hanging over you of all the things you did wrong that day. You will wake up the next morning with the same monster and he'll be hanging around your neck before you know it. God delights in you, and even when you mess up, He looks at you and smiles, because He created you and thinks you are pretty amazing.
Now go hug your kids, look them in the eyes, and tell them you love them. Because you know you really do.
Motherhood is by far the most difficult task you will ever attempt. It will stretch you, exhaust you, and hopefully bring you more joy than you ever thought possible.
Your days are full, your nights are short, your house is never in the condition you'd like, and for pity sake, could you please just be allowed to go to the bathroom by yourself?! You are so tired of reading that certain Thomas the Tank Engine book, and completely exhausted with that child who wakes up grouchy every single day, and feel all kinds of 'mommy guilt' for not wanting to spend another day in the house with all these sweet but needy children.
People tell you your child acts up because she needs more individual attention, and your husband and you haven't been on a date in months, (come to think of it, you haven't even finished your sentences to each other in that long, either!) and the baby just takes 20 minute cat naps during the day.
Can I ask you to just stop and find a minute or 2 or 20, maybe while your husband is watching your babies, and cry out to Jesus? He loves mommy's so much and cares deeply for them. Think about all those big things you wanted to do with your life. You are doing that and more as you get to spend every day influencing, teaching and training these precious little people. Determine to stop doing this on your own. Train yourself to cry out to Him for help. My sister used to holler out, "Help us, Jesus" when she was in the thick of it with her little people. (She had 3 in about 3 and a half years.) I thought it was cute until I became a mom, then I realized that she had something I wanted.
I don't want you just to survive, I want you to thrive. I want you to love being a Mommy. I want your children to grow up and remember that mom played games with them, colored with them, taught them how to wash dishes, (or just make a mess in the kitchen) and ran races with them. I want you to experience the fun and joy of motherhood.
Maybe the housework has you completely exhausted. Have a cleaning plan. It can be as simple as clean toilets on Monday, sweep floors on Tuesday, dust on Wednesday, etc. Put it into do-able portions. and teach your children to help. A 3 year old can fling a dust rag. (I know, I know, it's not going to be done right. but you will reap the benefits someday soon if you teach your children to work at an early age, before they are truly help.)
Make a simple plan for meals. You don't have to cook a 3 course meal like your Mom did. Jelly bread makes a fantastic dessert. Make double portions and freeze the extra. And don't go grocery shopping all the time. It's exhausting and un-necessary if you plan ahead.
Stop comparing yourself to the lady down the road who has 4 littles like you and sews all their own clothes and cans oodles of stuff from her garden every spring. That's not you and it's okay.
Find a mentor, someone who can pray for you at a moment's notice, someone you can pour out your heart to, and not feel judgement, someone who cares enough to gently tell you if you're getting something wrong.
And please, please don't go to bed every night with that monster of guilt hanging over you of all the things you did wrong that day. You will wake up the next morning with the same monster and he'll be hanging around your neck before you know it. God delights in you, and even when you mess up, He looks at you and smiles, because He created you and thinks you are pretty amazing.
Now go hug your kids, look them in the eyes, and tell them you love them. Because you know you really do.
I've discovered that this act of mothering
is my worship to Him right now.
dying to self & delighting in them
there is failure
oh yes, it is messy and sloppy sometimes
yet forgiveness
and grace
and growing.
-Lovelyn Palm
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