Winter Daze

Honestly, it's starting to feel like the winter is just never going to end, and one very cold day fades right into the next. But.it.can't.be.much.longer. It's almost March and March means SPRING....or not. This is Iowa after all.

I used to take a lot of pictures of my children when they were all little bitty things running around here and doing their cute stuff. Alas, I often forget to take pictures of their half grown cute selves these days, but don't worry, the camera is still well-loved. They are the ones behind the camera now instead of me. And I delete many pictures and deal with dead batteries all the time. The latest rage is video clips, and lots of them. Sometimes I just can't believe what I find on my camera that was 'photo worthy'!

Brooklyn is reading and reading and reading these days!

We celebrated our 100th day of school with a family picnic on the living room floor. It was a wild day in which Leon and I dashed off for a tax appointment soon after this photo was taken. Several years ago, we surprised the children with a night out at a hotel with a water slide for our 100th day of school and let's just say, every year since, they are a wee bit disappointed when that special day doesn't bring with it an extravagant celebration.

For Christmas, we gave the boys a model of an engine. Leon had almost more fun than the boys did, putting this thing together and explaining all the parts to them, one cold, snowy evening.

Jamison and Annika are digging behind the dryer for 'lost' items. Every item they retrieve has a cash prize of 10 cents so it's pretty exciting for them.

The girls and their pets......

We got 10 baby lambs for the children to bottle feed. They have a love/hate relationship with these little guys. But everyone agrees that they are soooo cute!

Leon installed my microwave over the stove this week!!!! This has been on my 'honey-do' list for awhile, so I am thrilled to have it done.

We went to see the newest little family member last weekend. Oh my! What a beautiful little girl and just the perfect size! We didn't want to leave her!

I found this sign on the girl's bedroom door.

Since becoming chicken farmers, we now have lots and lots of eggs to pack each day. Annika took a  photo of the eggs on the conveyor belt.

And last but not least, today we are celebrating Logan's birthday! We are now officially parent's of a teenager! He's been a bit under the weather and so we are holding off on his steak dinner until tomorrow, in hopes that his appetite will be back to normal.

21 more days till Spring starts! Hang in there!

Just One

I'm just one of many, but I like to think that my story is unique.

I was about 14 weeks 'along'  when the doctor told my mommy that I wasn't healthy. I was going to be a Downs Syndrome baby and would possibly be deformed. (Whatever that means....who looks 'normal' around here anyway?)

The doctor said that the kindest, most loving thing my Mom could do for me was to abort me. To end my life.

My Mom wrestled with this. She was older, a single mom, and considered high-risk. She really felt like abortion was wrong. But everyone said it was the best thing for me.

The best gift for me was to end my life?!

The abortion appointment was made. Then Mom met a lady at work who was a Christian. Mom told the kind lady about her plans for me. The lady asked if she could please meet Mom for lunch.

They met and talked. The kind lady told my Mom that she herself was supposed to be an abnormal baby and her parents chose life for her. She told my Mom that every life is precious. She encouraged my Mom to find someone who could care for me and adopt me as their own child. I liked that idea.

When the lunch ended, my Mom had a phone number to call, and my future was looking much brighter. I was so thankful to the kind lady for talking to my Mom. Mom told the lady she would cancel the abortion appointment.

The kind lady texted a bunch of her friends. People were praying for me. Lots of people. People my Mom didn't know.

God was busy. He was laying the burden of me on people's hearts. There were some family's who were willing to adopt me. God even revealed special things about me to one of them.

My Mom called the clinic to make an appointment to talk about options. Options like adoption.

But then Mom changed her mind.

And it was all over. My chance at life. My opportunity to impact the world. Just like that, it was all over. I know I'm just one of many. But I'm just one who could have made a difference in my world, if given the chance.

************************************************************************

(This is a true story about a little girl that was aborted this past week. Oh, how our hearts broke as we heard the news of her abortion!)

Rest safe in Jesus' arms, little Hope.

Trust {no matter what}

Somehow, when I was in my early twenties, and living my life, I looked loftily upon the almost 40 year olds around me, and thought that when I get to be their age, I would certainly have life figured out. I mean, I already knew a lot, and give me another 15-20 years, and I'd pretty much have a handle on knowledge.

Call me arrogant, or naive, (I'll own up to both) but I really did think that way down deep.

Well, hello. Here I am. Staring 40 in the face and feeling like there are so many, many things I don't know. So many things I don't have figured out. Somehow that doesn't start a panic attack like I thought it might. Because I think I've figured out some basic truths, and I'm learning more and more about God's Father-heart towards His children, and somehow, that is enough.

The last several years have been rich. Rich in learning, learning so much more about Jesus than I ever knew before. And with that learning comes the realization that, the more I learn, the more I have to learn and how little I actually know.

These years have been rich in relationships. Not with the kind of friends that know every detail of your physical life, like how many quarts of green beans you canned, or how your child lost his new shoes, but the kind of relationships that care for your heart. I am so blessed to have friends who pray for me, who ask me how I'm doing, for real, and who share words of encouragement with me.

The past several years have also been filled with pain. Deep, aching in my heart. Strained relationships, disappointments, longing for other's to experience freedom and unconditional love.

Recently, I was in a discussion with someone and the subject of breaking habits and living victoriously came up. I was asked for ways to do this. I sat and thought. My mind flashed back to years ago when I would've had a formula figured out at the snap of my fingers. It was different this time. I sat and waited and I heard God say to me, "It's not so much about the Doing, as it is about the Knowing." The words I said to my friend were not my own. I shared the deep unconditional love of Jesus. I encouraged this person to fall in love with Jesus. That in itself would change his appetite. I also spoke of Grace, and not trying to earn our way into a close relationship with Jesus. I don't know if my friend 'got it'. But I do know that as long as I have breath, I will share about these two truths to everyone I can.

And now, somehow this is all supposed to have what?! to do with my title.....

pardon the bunny trail..... :)

my words for 2015 are Trust, No Matter What.

In the midst of one of the most difficult situations I have found myself in yet, I know that God is clearly saying to me to Trust Him, no matter how I feel, no matter what the future holds, no matter if everything comes crashing down around me, Trust. That's all.

....there is a plan and there is a purpose

and there is a God in Heaven who didn't

just ink you onto the palm of His hands

but etched your name right

into Himself with nails and

He hasn't just got your number,

He's got your heart.

He sees you, hidden in Him,

and you aren't ever forgotten

because God can't forget those right in Him.

because God's writing your story and

He never leaves you alone in your story, and

His perfect love absorbs all your fear

and His perfect grace carries

all your burdens.

and your story is a happily ever after

because Christ bought your happily ever after

so you always know how this story ends.

You're going to be okay.

                       -Ann Voskamp

A Little Girl and Her Daddy

"Daddy, I can't sleep."
"Why not?"
"I'm just so scared."
What are you scared of?"
"I'm scared I'll do something bad, and then Jesus won't let me go to heaven."

This is how the conversation started. And the little girl's Daddy told her about Grace, about how Jesus knows if we truly want to serve Him in our heart, and about how much Jesus loves us. He told her how much Jesus loves scared little girls. Her Daddy talked about fear. He told her the story of Elijah, hiding after the prophets of Baal had all been killed, hiding because he was afraid. Her Daddy told her that when we are afraid, it's really hard for Jesus to use us. Her Daddy held her in his arms. She felt safe, secure, loved, and best of all- her questions were answered.

The next morning this little girl came bouncing into the kitchen for breakfast. Her eyes were shining as she told me about her long talk with her Daddy the night before. She told me how she doesn't have to be afraid anymore.

Now she spends afternoons writing out favorite Scriptures and giving her Daddy and I our own personal handwritten copy of our favorite verses. 

She's free to love, free to live.

I can't help but remember. Remember the many, many nights I lay awake begging God to forgive my sins. I would name every sin I could remember committing, since the last time I had asked for forgiveness. Finally, in desperation, I would plead, "God, forgive all the sins I committed, even the ones I can't remember." Then I would finally fall asleep, only to repeat this pattern many more times.

The burden of my sins, of my mistakes, the guilt, the shame- I carried it for years. 

But then I turned to my heavenly Daddy, and He held me, and told me how much He loves me. He told me that He paid the price, once and for all. He told me about His unconditional love. He showed me His scars- the physical reminder of the sacrifice He made. 

And I slept in His arms that night. 

Morning came..... my heart was full of joy. Not because the days spread before me were easy, or because I had suddenly achieved perfection. No, I was full of JOY because now I was free. Free to live, to love, to be the person Jesus created me to be. Free to live without condemnation for my past.

Perfect love casts out fear.

Thank you, Jesus!

Would the {Real] Pumpkin Please Stand Up?

Oh there you are, I see you now- butternut squash. Call me crazy, call me whatever you want, but honestly, my entire life I thought you were the real pumpkin. Then I tasted real pumpkin and decided that nope, butternut squash beats pumpkin all to pieces.

I know it's January and we should be eating soup, especially since it's been 'so bloody cold' (said with your best British accent) around here.......or then we should at least be eating fat-free or low carb or something along the line of January diets. But I finally dug my butternut squash out of my basement, and proceeded to 'work them up' (which has to be the worst Dutchy phrase ever!) last week.

Unlike The Pioneer Woman, I do not have step-by-step beautifully photographed instructions and cute little puns. I did have a messy kitchen, and I did process 20 pints of that beautiful orange stuff.

Friday morning, while my children were attempting to get their tousled heads out of bed, I was washing and scrubbing squash. I cut them in half, dug the seeds out with my fingers, after discovering that goes better than a silly spoon. Then I placed them cut side down on my trusty cookie sheets, poured a cup of water on the pan, covered them with foil, and baked them several hours, until my fork could easily poke them. While they baked, we ate breakfast, did school, started laundry, settled fights, and sighed deeply because it was Friday.

After they were soft, I dumped them in a large bowl to cool, and repeated the process.I even have a picture to prove this.

As they cooled, I scooped the pulp out of the shell. I took my stick blender and blended the whole mess together, to make sure there weren't any chunks. Then I put the squash into pint jars.

I filled my pressure cooker (Christmas present, Thanks, Mom!) and started processing the squash. Then I took all those seeds I'd been saving, which was about 4 cups, and tried something new. I washed them, and tried to get all the orange pulp-y stuff off of the seeds. I tossed them with 6 T. melted butter, 2 tsp. seasoning salt, 4 tsp. Worcestershire sauce, and 1/2 tsp. garlic salt. I spread them on 2 cookie sheets and baked them for one hour at 300 degrees, stirring every 15 minutes. After the third time stirring, I was really expecting a total flop. They still weren't crunchy and badly needed salt. I shook a lot more salt on them and popped them back in the oven. 15 minutes later, oh my! Crunchy delicious squash seeds came out of my oven!

Today it was time to try to copycat Panera Bread's Autumn Squash Soup. I found a recipe on Pinterest, but who wants to follow a recipe? So I tweaked it and halved it and came up with this. My own delicious version! I made my children and dear husband taste the soup and they ALL, I repeat, ALL wrinkled their noses, which is why I halved the recipe in the first place. I expected as much. But don't go with their opinion, they aren't the adventurous sort.

Saute onion in olive oil, stir in 1 cup chicken broth, 2 cups pumpkin squash, 3/4 cup apple cider, 3/4 cup cream, 1 T. honey, 1 tsp. salt, 1/4 tsp. cinnamon. Before the mixture was hot, I put it all in my blender. then back in the kettle until it was bubbling. And I enjoyed my soup while my family ate leftover pizza. My soup recipe made about 4 small servings.

And since we're talking about pumpkin squash anyway, here are two more of my favorite recipes.

Pumpkin White Hot Chocolate
 5 cups whole milk
1 cup white chocolate chips
4 tsp. cocoa powder
1 T. instant coffee
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup pumpkin squash puree
1 tsp. cinnamon
Put everything together in blender. Blend until smooth. Pour into kettle and heat over low heat, stirring often.

Pumpkin Pancakes

2 eggs
2 cups flour
2 T. brown sugar
2 tsp. soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 c. melted butter
1 1/2 c. milk
1 c. squash puree

Heat griddle to 375 degrees. Beat eggs until fluffly, add the rest of ingredients just until smooth. Grease griddle with butter, fry pancakes until done, serve with real maple syrup.

On another note, we survived the holidays, and had a real mix of work and play, family time, sleeping in, and getting ready for our chickens. On January 5, we officially became chicken farmers. It's been an adventure so far,  to say the least.

We're back into a school routine, the farmer husband is at home full-time now, the honey-do list is as long as his arm, we're all healthy, some parts of life really stink, but we're all still learning about Grace, and our Father's heart toward us. And we have nothing to complain about; only an abundance of blessings to count.


And now, to all, a good day!

This Christmas Season...

I have been reminding myself that...

•  Simple is best, online shopping is good, and gift cards make nice gifts
• Two batches of Christmas cookies are plenty
• A clean house is better than a perfectly decorated one (of course, if you can have both, good for you)
• Making treats with the children is a lot of fun

• Mud will not steal my joy, mud will not steal my joy, mud will not..... (we are building a chicken barn and have mud and dirt everywhere due to a very warm December, but it could be worse, it could be snow!)
• My children are beautiful (even if their clothes are not new or perfectly coordinated) 

• My beautiful Advent devotional can be read in January
• Kind words to my children are better than perfect schedules
• Listening to Brooklyn read to me, s-l-o-w-l-y sounding out words, is a privilege
• Always-dead batteries in my camera mean I have creative children taking many hilarious video clips 
• Soup and bread make a fine meal for guests
• A tea party with the nieces is a special privilege even when you think you're almost too busy to plan it
• Busy Daddy's who read to their little girls are pretty special

• God is Peace, and Hope, and Everything I need

And just because I like us.......

The Week Before Christmas

It's the week before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature is stirring, except maybe a mouse.
The children are tucked in their beds for the night,
The week's been exhausting, with lots of late nights.
Filled with excitement of the days ahead,
Good times with cousins dance in their head.
Christmas is coming, and so is the fun,
Hurry, hurry, there's still lots to be done,
Cleaning and laundry and baking galore,
Organize the mudroom and so much more,
One more day of schoolbooks, oh yes, 
Then a two week break will be the best.
We'll stay up late and sleep in each morn,
Laugh and play until we're worn,
Eat lots of food, make lots of noise,
There's fun to be had with all those boys,
The girls will giggle and talk about their horse,
And play Polly Pockets and Dutch Blitz of course.
The moms will talk as fast as they can 
And cook more food for the hungry band,
The dads will catch up as only men can,
And go to B Dubs as a football fan.
We spend weeks looking forward to all the fun, 
And before you can blink, it's over and done.
We'll keep all these memories safe in our heart,
And someday we'll tell stories straight from our heart,
About the good old days when the kids were young,
Life was so easy, and so much fun.
We'll forget about the three naughty boys,
And the trapper's shenanigans will all sound like joys.
The emotional girls, we hardly can bear,
Will grow up and cook for us as we sit in our chair.
They'll talk of their young'uns, and we'll just smile,
Remembering them, yeah, it's been awhile.
So here's to the rocking chair and the good days to come, 
Getting old just might be fun.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
(Sometimes a little poetry is therapeutic :))