Trust {no matter what}

Somehow, when I was in my early twenties, and living my life, I looked loftily upon the almost 40 year olds around me, and thought that when I get to be their age, I would certainly have life figured out. I mean, I already knew a lot, and give me another 15-20 years, and I'd pretty much have a handle on knowledge.

Call me arrogant, or naive, (I'll own up to both) but I really did think that way down deep.

Well, hello. Here I am. Staring 40 in the face and feeling like there are so many, many things I don't know. So many things I don't have figured out. Somehow that doesn't start a panic attack like I thought it might. Because I think I've figured out some basic truths, and I'm learning more and more about God's Father-heart towards His children, and somehow, that is enough.

The last several years have been rich. Rich in learning, learning so much more about Jesus than I ever knew before. And with that learning comes the realization that, the more I learn, the more I have to learn and how little I actually know.

These years have been rich in relationships. Not with the kind of friends that know every detail of your physical life, like how many quarts of green beans you canned, or how your child lost his new shoes, but the kind of relationships that care for your heart. I am so blessed to have friends who pray for me, who ask me how I'm doing, for real, and who share words of encouragement with me.

The past several years have also been filled with pain. Deep, aching in my heart. Strained relationships, disappointments, longing for other's to experience freedom and unconditional love.

Recently, I was in a discussion with someone and the subject of breaking habits and living victoriously came up. I was asked for ways to do this. I sat and thought. My mind flashed back to years ago when I would've had a formula figured out at the snap of my fingers. It was different this time. I sat and waited and I heard God say to me, "It's not so much about the Doing, as it is about the Knowing." The words I said to my friend were not my own. I shared the deep unconditional love of Jesus. I encouraged this person to fall in love with Jesus. That in itself would change his appetite. I also spoke of Grace, and not trying to earn our way into a close relationship with Jesus. I don't know if my friend 'got it'. But I do know that as long as I have breath, I will share about these two truths to everyone I can.

And now, somehow this is all supposed to have what?! to do with my title.....

pardon the bunny trail..... :)

my words for 2015 are Trust, No Matter What.

In the midst of one of the most difficult situations I have found myself in yet, I know that God is clearly saying to me to Trust Him, no matter how I feel, no matter what the future holds, no matter if everything comes crashing down around me, Trust. That's all.

....there is a plan and there is a purpose

and there is a God in Heaven who didn't

just ink you onto the palm of His hands

but etched your name right

into Himself with nails and

He hasn't just got your number,

He's got your heart.

He sees you, hidden in Him,

and you aren't ever forgotten

because God can't forget those right in Him.

because God's writing your story and

He never leaves you alone in your story, and

His perfect love absorbs all your fear

and His perfect grace carries

all your burdens.

and your story is a happily ever after

because Christ bought your happily ever after

so you always know how this story ends.

You're going to be okay.

                       -Ann Voskamp