He was 17 when he first thought about me in 'that' way. He talked to his dad and his dad told him to wait until he's 18. I knew he liked me. I thought he was an immature kid with a lot of growing up to do.
When he turned 18, he knew he wasn't ready for a relationship. I was teaching school 1/4 mile from his job, and he would stop in at school after work sometimes to hang out with me and my co-teacher, both girls from the youth group. We would joke, after he left, about which one of us he might be after. He really wasn't an option for either of us.
But that year, we started becoming good friends. We would talk evenings after chorus practice and became good friends. At this point, I had no idea if he still liked me. My friends would tease me about him sometimes, just to get a reaction out of me.
I had encountered too many guys that when they thought a girl was cool, they would laugh at everything she said, and act like a love-struck puppy around her. I thought that was so annoying. I had a strong personality and I wanted 'my man' to be able to stand up to me. I knew my tendency to run a relationship and I didn't want that for my marriage someday.
We continued being friends, but we also started to butt heads sometimes in the youth group or on youth committee's. Our youth group was really small, but the guys still led out, with the girls giving suggestions. I sometimes felt like he did the opposite of what I wanted just because. It annoyed me, but at the same time, impressed me. I remember writing in my journal the summer of 1998, shocking even myself, "Leon has some qualities that I consider important for my future husband to have."
I was wrestling with my future and was still teaching school. I was 22 years old and starting to think that perhaps God wanted me to be single for the rest of my life. Well, I certainly wasn't going to sit around feeling sorry for myself. I dreamed of going to Haiti as a missionary, maybe long-term, and I wondered what adventures God had for me. However, in my second year of teaching school, I still felt strongly that I was exactly where God wanted me, for now.
In September, Leon turned 19. In October, after a weekend youth retreat, Leon asked to talk to me Sunday evening after church. He told me that he would like to pursue a relationship with me and he wants me to pray about it and take all the time I need for my answer. I said 2 weeks should be sufficient.
I talked to my Mom, my twin brother, my closest friends, and most of all I prayed, begging God to show me His will. I had pleaded with God years earlier, that I would never date again until it was the one I was to marry. After 1 week, I felt like I had a clear answer from God regarding our relationship. But I didn't exactly like it. I felt like God was saying I should go ahead with it, but I never felt like He was saying this is the one I was to marry. I agonized over that. I wanted to know. I didn't want to get hurt. (Or do the hurting, for that matter.) but I finally decided to rest in His leading and trust Him for the rest.
I told Leon Sunday evening after church that I was ready to talk to him. He came over to my house. (In fear and trembling, I found out later. He had just come through a rough week, hardly being able to eat, all because of me!) Being my somewhat ornery self, I invited him in. I then proceeded to tell him that after a week of praying, I came up with my answer. I decided it won't work. (He looked a little pale.) My reasons were, 1. He didn't talk Pennsylvania Dutch and 2. He didn't drive a purple Mustang. Of course, then I laughed. He was still not breathing. Suddenly, I realized this guy has no idea that I'm kidding. I quickly added, "I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I will go out with you." I think he breathed a huge sigh of relief. He has since told me that I was very heartless. I really thought it was a good joke.
We had our first date 5 days later at T.G.I.Fridays, and we sat there and talked for 3 hours. I was cautiously optimistic. I liked this guy, but I still felt like there was no way it was going to work. He was planning to move to Maryland in 2 months to work for his uncle on his dairy farm for a year. I told my friends, "This will be great. You won't even know I'm dating. The distance will be really good for us."
When he moved out east 2 months later, I cried. He likes to say a line from Hank the Cowdog at this point of the story. "When the women are crying when you leave, it's not necessarily a bad thing."
I was completely shocked at how fast this guy got my heart. I mean, I was planning on playing 'hard to get' for a long time yet. I was the one who emphatically said, "You don't fall in love, you fall in ditches." (A line from a sermon I heard on dating)
It was a long year apart. 2-3 hour phone calls were nothing unusual. We didn't text, email or have cell phones. But man, that didn't keep us from communicating. We are both pretty talkative, and that was something we did a lot of. It was to our benefit. We didn't keep secrets from each other. We each had a turn surprising the other during that long year, and in Dec. of 1999, when he moved home for good, I was beyond happy. I was in my 4th year of teaching and pretty certain that this would be my last. When the school board asked me for another year, I asked Leon what I should say. He answered, "Say whatever you want." (I thought, oh come on, can't you say something really sweet about now to convince me that you don't want me to teach again because you have big plans for us...?! )
On April the 23rd, 2 weeks before school ended for the year, Leon asked me to be his wife. I said "Yes!" (and almost added, "I thought you'd never ask.") We had a busy, whirlwind, 4 month engagement, and on August 26, 2000, we got married with a big church wedding.
Last weekend, we took the kids to his parents and went out on a wonderful shopping/supper date. Then we came home and enjoyed being together at home alone, for the next 24 hours. Eleven years, and seriously, it only gets better.
I am passionate about good marriages. There are so many couples out there who are together because they don't believe in separating, but they are not happy or fulfilled. Our marriages can be a tremendous witness to the world around us.
Like Logan said this morning at breakfast, "Dad and Mom, you guys almost idolize each other."
I am forever grateful for the gift I have of a great marriage and a wonderful man to share this journey with.
