Monday, August 25, 2014

Dear Mommy of Little Ones

I watch you as you rejoice over another new baby joining your family. And I remember.....

Motherhood is by far the most difficult task you will ever attempt. It will stretch you, exhaust you, and hopefully bring you more joy than you ever thought possible.

Your days are full, your nights are short, your house is never in the condition you'd like, and for pity sake, could you please just be allowed to go to the bathroom by yourself?! You are so tired of reading that certain Thomas the Tank Engine book, and completely exhausted with that child who wakes up grouchy every single day, and feel all kinds of 'mommy guilt' for not wanting to spend another day in the house with all these sweet but needy children.

People tell you your child acts up because she needs more individual attention, and your husband and you haven't been on a date in months, (come to think of it, you haven't even finished your sentences to each other in that long, either!) and the baby just takes 20 minute cat naps during the day.

Can I ask you to just stop and find a minute or 2 or 20, maybe while your husband is watching your babies, and cry out to Jesus? He loves mommy's so much and cares deeply for them. Think about all those big things you wanted to do with your life. You are doing that and more as you get to spend every day influencing, teaching and training these precious little people. Determine to stop doing this on your own. Train yourself to cry out to Him for help. My sister used to holler out, "Help us, Jesus" when she was in the thick of it with her little people. (She had 3 in about 3 and a half years.) I thought it was cute until I became a mom, then I realized that she had something I wanted.

I don't want you just to survive, I want you to thrive. I want you to love being a Mommy. I want your children to grow up and remember that mom played games with them, colored with them, taught them how to wash dishes, (or just make a mess in the kitchen) and ran races with them. I want you to experience the fun and joy of motherhood.

Maybe the housework has you completely exhausted. Have a cleaning plan. It can be as simple as clean toilets on Monday, sweep floors on Tuesday, dust on Wednesday, etc. Put it into do-able portions. and teach your children to help. A 3 year old can fling a dust rag. (I know, I know, it's not going to be done right. but you will reap the benefits someday soon if you teach your children to work at an early age, before they are truly help.)

Make a simple plan for meals. You don't have to cook a 3 course meal like your Mom did. Jelly bread makes a fantastic dessert. Make double portions and freeze the extra. And don't go grocery shopping all the time. It's exhausting and un-necessary if you plan ahead.

Stop comparing yourself to the lady down the road who has 4 littles like you and sews all their own clothes and cans oodles of stuff from her garden every spring. That's not you and it's okay.

Find a mentor, someone who can pray for you at a moment's notice, someone you can pour out your heart to, and not feel judgement, someone who cares enough to gently tell you if you're getting something wrong.

And please, please don't go to bed every night with that monster of guilt hanging over you of all the things you did wrong that day. You will wake up the next morning with the same monster and he'll be hanging around your neck before you know it. God delights in you, and even when you mess up, He looks at you and smiles, because He created you and thinks you are pretty amazing.

Now go hug your kids, look them in the eyes, and tell them you love them. Because you know you really do.

 I've discovered that this act of mothering
 is my worship to Him right now.
dying to self & delighting in them
there is failure
oh yes, it is messy and sloppy sometimes
yet forgiveness
and grace
and growing.
  -Lovelyn Palm

2 comments:

  1. Beautiful, timely reminder! Love the part about not comparing yourself to the woman who has littles and sews and cans up a storm from her garden....been there, done that! Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Just the post for an overwhelmed mom! Thank you!

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